Presidential Cabinet position of Department of Property Reclamation

Up to this point, Matt has typically been the king of lost stuff.  Usually phones, sometimes keys and occasionally a wallet or credit card.  Apparently the mantle has been passed-- unbeknownst to any of us-- to me.  I neither asked for this honor nor do I even really consider it an honor.  It's a nuisance.  An expensive, embarrassing nuisance.  In the last three weeks I have lost:

1 iPod
1 set of headphones
1 set of Westone personally molded in-ear live performance monitors
1 raincoat
1 black fashion jacket
1 pair of shorts
1 mind

Where does it end?  Am I out of the woods?  In the clear?  Is the next instance merely lurking around the corner waiting to pounce like a cougar? 

I propose, for the purpose of such dilemmas as may arise similar to my own, that the next president of the United States create a Department of Property Reclamation and appoint a cabinet member to head the department.  This department will be in charge of

1. creating a magical infrastructure for finding lost items
2. developing a method of magically associating 'found' item with rightful owner
3. build a teleportation device or its magical equivalent for transporting the item back to its owner

I figure that this shouldn't be very difficult for either candidate, seeing as they both have found a way to magically fix the economy, the environment and the war in Iraq. 

Comments

[Arthur Dent]

What, exactly, does a black 'fashion jacket' look like?

Perhaps it is something that a person should lose. Anyway... It appears that you have not lost your sense of humor nor the sunny disposition that is so much a part of who you are...

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